Laundry & Thoughts of Life

Today and tonight it is supposed to be above freezing, which is a good thing as I need to do laundry today. Right now, the thermometer reads just at 32 degrees.

My son has already hooked up the water hose to the washer on one end. The other end he could not get hooked up because the quick disconnect was frozen. Soon, I will be going outside to try and warm it up and get it hooked up so that I can do laundry.

I was up early today, praying and contemplating some questions about life. I want to be content in my situation...in wherever Yahweh wants me to be and with whatever He wants to provide. He knows what I need, yet, He says to make my needs known to Him. This is something I struggle with. I am not sure what to ask for. Should I really be asking for anything beyond food, shelter, clothing?

What about a room on the side of our RV so that we have more privacy? Isn't that a good thing to ask for? Yet, we don't have one and have not been able to build one. So, am I selfish for wanting that? Am I being discontented with what God is providing for us? Is He just saying to be more creative in finding ways to make privacy with what He has provided? Is it wrong to ask for a room...or even a real house of some kind, no matter how small?

Well...I don't really believe it is wrong to ask for anything. He is my Abba, after all. He will just say "no" if I ask for the wrong things. I guess my real question is...am I being selfish for wanting more? Am I being selfish for wanting a second vehicle so that my son and I are not stuck on the land unable to really go anywhere? Or is God saying that I need to look for other things to do with my son? I wish I knew.

Some may be uncomfortable with my expressing my questions here...but they, too, are a part of our life. Why are we here where we are? How can we best serve Yahweh in this place? How can we best be His sons and daughter? How can we best show His love to a darkened world? This is just a temporary home...life on this planet. This is not my true destination. Honestly, if this life were all there is to live for...I do not believe life would be worth living. I want more than this life can offer. I want the Creator...the Giver of this life. Being in relationship with Him and serving Him is what makes this life, with all of its difficulties, worth living.

I guess, to some degree, that sounds a bit pessimistic. And for those who know me as being the optimist in the family it might sound a bit strange. But my optimism is not in life...it is in the Giver of life. It is because I trust Him that I can be optimistic. I have seen Him move in incredible ways and do miraculous things in my life. I know that He is trustworthy. It is my human perceptions that are NOT trustworthy. That is why I have to ask HIM about life...about what HE wants me to ask for. Only He sees the big picture. Only He really knows what I need. I know what I want, but it is sometimes difficult to separate my wants from my needs. OK...so maybe it is OFTEN difficult to separate them. *smile* So, I will continue working on learning contentedness in our situation and trusting Him to provide what we really need.

I am learning still, and again, to trust Him more and more. I know that He is more than able to answer the questions of my heart. He has brought me through so much in this life. He will not leave me hanging. Of that I can depend. He says that He will never leave me or forsake me.